a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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