My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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