just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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