fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
