escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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