He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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