I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
