pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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