Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
