Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize