Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
time to smoke my breakfast
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
