Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
