i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
