We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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