hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
