and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
