end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
