apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
of course. lets lasso hookers.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
