It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
