Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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