it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my being single is dangerous.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
