Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
