Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
