i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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