No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
