I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
