i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
