after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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