I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
