I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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