the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
