i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
