Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
