Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
