Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
how does that bad decision feel?
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