I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
