it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
