dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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