i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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