and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
