And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
