I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
