I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
