Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
