THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
