PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
