i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
