3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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