You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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