it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
