The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize