i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
