Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
