I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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