She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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