We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
