I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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