my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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