WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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