So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
