i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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