areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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